It is Sunday and I’ve been sick. You know, a cold gets described as all these things, but ultimately it’s just a sort of variety show for snot. How many ways can snot impede your life?

Actually it’s more like watching snot reenact the migration of American pioneers across the Oregon Trail. It starts in nose country, and spreads out towards either your throat (uh, Louisiana?) or your godforsaken ears (the West Coast). Everyday it makes a stop in a new place, enduring (er, causing) whatever trials may come along with it.

Today we’re in ear infection country. These Apaches can’t be reasoned with so get the muskets. They’ll never take us alive.

I don’t think I’ve had an ear infection since I was about seven. Back then they used to make you drink foul, white liquid. Now WebMD is just telling me to tough it out. Luckily, Tough It Out is my middle name.

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