Happy birthday, Bri-guy! I purposely delayed this message so that you wouldn’t be disturbed, since it would feel like you’re being spoken to from the future, but before I knew it Sarah had already happy birthday’d you on Facebook, and now I feel ashamed that she beat me since technically I live in the future. Anyway, I hope you have a grand slam of a day!

Also, could you transmit your mailing address to me somehow, for top secret reasons?