Bowing and the Mystical Art of Misunderstanding Every Goddamn Thing

If you missed my Facebook post and Aman’s Facebook post, then perhaps you also missed the news, so allow me to recreate the headline in my own words:

Republicans Embarass Selves, American Onlookers

Though it hardly is news.

Here’s the article. If you’re too lazy to read it but not too lazy to read this post for some reason, basically the gist is that Obama met the Japanese emperor and bowed to him, and a bunch of Fox News people were outraged by this. To quote William Kristol, “It’s not appropriate for an American president to bow to a foreign one.”

Indeed. He’s already compromised most of America’s dignity by bowing in Saudi Arabia, and now this? Next thing you know he’ll be bowing in Korea and China and before you know it every Kim, Chang, and Chung will be raping our liberty for all it’s worth. This unadulterated bowmongering must be stopped before our nation becomes the world’s designated call-girl.

If the president can’t bow to a foreign president, who the hell can he bow to? Not that the emperor is a president, nor any kind of political figure anymore. The emperor is a cultural figurehead. Bowing to him is like bowing at a tea ceremony. You just do it out of respect. It’s like when a foreigner is forced to endure the national anthem at a ball game and actually stands for the whole thing. You can bring an American overseas, but America itself stays put. Of course, all this criticism comes from the same damn people who voted for a guy who threw up in the Japanese PM’s lap, and then they voted for his son. Twice. Speaking of appropriate.

Come on, righties. Are you that low on ammunition?

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