I saw a man turning left in his car last week, and it unsettled me because he made the turn while barking. Barking over and over out the window. Not like a dog barking; it was a strange vocalization almost like a sneeze, like, “Aff! Aff! Aff! Aff!” But I tell you, those were no sneezes. They were barks.
He still bothered to use his winker, which around here is an overachievement.
“Aff! Aff!” Indicate. Check mirror. Smooth hand-over-hand motion. “Aff!”
The man probably suffered from a mental illness, but his left turn form was top-notch. The rest of us are doomed and should be ashamed of ourselves.
Continue reading “Intersection”
“This might sound like kind of an asshole thing to say, but do you guys know you’re Hipsters, or is it an accident?”
I have some confidence that I could do my entire senior thesis on the above sentence, except I’m not a senior. But the instant I hit 65. Hah.
So okay, let’s pick it apart. The aggressor’s remark was divided largely into two key components:
1) a declarative preamble or disclaimer of sorts: ““This might sound like kind of an asshole thing to say, but”
2) an accusation in the form of a rhetorical question: “do you guys know you’re Hipsters, or is it an accident?”
Stop me here if you disagree. Or, since that’s impossible, just leave a comment below.
Both of these components represent specific bad habits exhibited by human beings far and wide, but let’s look at the first component first.
Sometimes you watch a movie or something, and before the movie comes on, you get a disclaimer: “Warning: The following movie contains graphic images of folks bein’ butchered ‘n shit. Oh yeah and profanity. Lots o’ that!”
Continue reading “Hipster – A True Tale from the Futuristic Noir Life of Greg (Part 2)”